اختيار المرأة للزواج

االحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على سيدنا محمد وعلى اله وصحبه اجمعين.

عن أبي هريرة عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال( تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك).
وعن أبي سعيدعن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال (إياكم وخضراء الدمن : المرأة الحسناء في المنبت السوء).
عن أبي هريرةعن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال ( إذا خطب إليكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض)
واحاديث اخرى كثيرة في اختيار الزوج والزوجة.

االسؤال ما علاقة علمي الجينات والفلك باحاديث النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم افيدونا جزاكم الله خيرا.

All praise be to Allah, may His peace and mercy be upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad, his family and companions and also upon you.

Is piety more important than genetic and/or astronomical factors in choosing a marriage partner? I didn't realize how complex this issue is. I thank you for expanding my awareness.

Allah bless you for all your help to the people

Dear Balqees,
The answer will be, as I beleive, like that:
Yeah, in some cases piety is more important than other factors.
And No, piety isn't the prior, the other factors are.
Why? Because that depending on the feelings and attractiveness between both sides, the male and the female, how much the need to be togther!
I don't mean the LOVE of teenagers, but the mature LOVE.
Finally, I think this may enhence you to ask more.
So, you're welcome any time.
YOURS
Dr. Imad

Dear Dr. Imad,

Thank you so much for your clarity on this issue.

Yes of course, I understand (and agree) how the feelings and attractiveness between both sides and their needs to be together are important.
Speaking for myself, this seems natural to me.
Personally, I can't imagine marrying any man that I do not have feelings and attraction for.

And yes, I know I will have questions over time regarding Love and marriage, particularly about choosing the right partner.
Thank you for inviting me to ask.

This topic is very important to me, but I find it somewhat elusive and confusing for a number of reasons:

1. I am new to Islam and thus ignorant.
I realize there are "rules" of gender separation which are very important that serve as protection and to keep us in good moral condition.
But at the same time, I'm also confused because:

How does a muslim meet and come to know how they feel about a future partner to choose?

2. I think from what I've perceived in my life (but I don't know for sure, I speak only from my own limited perspective) the MATURE LOVE which you speak of is not common and not easy to find, at least not in Western societies in my opinion.
The divorce rate in certain areas, for example, is one category of evidence of this lack of MATURE Love.
It is tragic, sad, shameful, and disturbing, yet it remains the reality.
Unfortunately, this reality has shaped my beliefs that indeed, mature Love is not the typical case.
Instead the typical case is immature Love which isn't safe.
I'm not the slightest bit interested in anything less than mature Love

3. My own personal resisitance on this issue maintains an elusiveness which I struggle with.
I am more often hesitatant and silent regarding this entire topic for multiple reasons which keep me silent.
I'm aware of how I mentally run away whenever I'm asked "why are you not married?".
An easy reply is, "I have not found the right man, I'm very selective", which is true.
But other reasons too block me from finding the right partner.

4. I tend to think this: If I am meant to be married, Allah will provide and guide me to the right husband.
I am not sure if or how much my thinking is a rationalized denial of my own responsibility to heal the elusive nature of Love and marriage in my life.

5. I define piety as the pure intention in the heart to seek, know and thus serve Allah.
I do not know why I think marriage for me would interfere with my desire to seek and know God, maybe it's the result of my wrong thinking or resistance or lack of knowledge/awareness.
Intellectually, I can understand how mature Love with a pious man could, in fact, enhance my piety simply by experiencing the connection of two hearts and lives in Allah's divine Love.
Maybe I am very selfish or blind and don't recognize it.
Still I yearn to be as close to Allah as humanly possible and it seems a husband (a worldly human) would interfere with understanding Allah (neither worldly nor human).

I have much to learn, much growth, development and healing to accomplish, but I hope and pray my basic orientation in my heart and mind is pure and good, inshallah.

I believe real Love is the greatest healer, it's the MOST powerful force in the Universe because real Love and Allah are ONE, not separate.
I have seen many times with my own eyes the miraculous power of Love defy all medical science and natural laws of physics known to man which was so profound it left me silenced in a state of complete awe.
I have also seen the opposite, destructive effects of a lack of real Love, and this too is so profound the sadness silences me.
I personally believe NO life is truly sustainable without real Love, i.e. without Allah.
I think Marriage with mature love between two people is one of the holiest gifts and divine blessings from Allah.
I don't think I could personally experience mature Love without experiencing Allah at the same time, so for me, my piety is not separate from mature Love (I hope that makes sense, inshallah)

I'm sorry I'm not clear on my questions, I feel questions stirring deep inside me, but I don't clearly see them yet.
However, I welcome any comments, feedback or criticism for which I am grateful to help me learn.

May Allah bless you and reward you for your generous knowledge and kindness in helping people

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds.Peace and prayer be upon our Prophet Muhammad,And his family and companions.
Initially Thank you very much Dr. Emad,God bless you and benefit you,On this proposal, the good.
In addition to the brother of Dr. Emad Hashemi.
Tell : That Islam has forbidden from being alone and mixing ,Strictly for the arrows of the devil ,Satanism and tricks,At the same time the development of Islam controls to consider between a man and awmen,To help them to avoid falling into sin,One of these controls:
If a man determined to make this marriage,Entitled to look at her face and hands and other strong,And is looking for the opportunities given to him what he wants to know which,Or to send things to his sister or his mother, for example .
The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him A man wants to marry :To see it is better that you get a problem later .
Once again thank you very much Dr. Imad al-Hashemi, sister Balqees on this topic .

Peace and mercy of Allah upon our Prophet, and upon Sheikh Watheq al-Obeidi and Dr Imad

I thank you both immensely for your esteemed knowledge and guidance on this topic. I am honored to learn and speak in your presence.

Yes, I am familiar with the Islamic prohibition of this specific haram as well as our Prophet's quote regarding the devil being the third companion when a man and woman are alone in private.

I think very deeply about Allah and I give careful attention to Islamic principles and living. Clearly, Allah knows all the reasons why as well as how much this specific haram hurts people and thus Allah forbids it for very good reasons. Personally, I am fiercely loyal to Allah in my truth that sexuality is an extremely HOLY gift from Allah to be shared between a husband and wife in mature love.

People who commit the sin mentioned in this topic hurt many people and themselves even if they do not know it, and I wish to emphasize the importance of this. People often do not think beyond the fact this is wrong. They don't consider how many others would be affected nor how long these affects could linger. Perhaps if they were taught to consider this, the problem would be less prevalent. I think many muslims (also non-muslims) need to take more responsibility to understand this for themselves. We also need to help others understand how harmful it is because this is a very big problem in the world.

Dr. Imad your point about acceptance of Islamic law in this discussion is extremely important! Your words directly relate to anything which deviates from the pure TRUE teachings of Islam is a fabrication and unlawful.

Finally, as a new muslim, I would like to say that I'm happy to accept the Islamic boundaries regarding this issue. In fact, this is one of the reasons I converted to Islam. I felt respected and safe knowing my humanity is recognized and would be protected from this kind of harm in Islam. Alhamdulillah, Allah knows....

Allah bless you both with high rewards